By Lynn Bacon, CPLC, CFC, CMS-CHt
•
18 Apr, 2020
6) Be in the moment: In THIS moment you are OK. You are safe. Take one day at a time. One hour or even one breath at a time if you need to. This tip is about being super-present, not thinking ahead or remembering the past, but practicing BEING. This is a PRACTICE - meaning you will have to do it over and over again - bringing yourself back to the NOW. Over time it gets easier, and it's a great skill to have to take back to "normal" life. So when you notice you're worrying, feeling twitchy and want to pick up your device and find out what the "latest" is about the COVID (or any other) situation, say to yourself, "It's OK. In this moment, I am safe. In this moment I am OK." You can also add or say, "In this moment, my children/husband/family are safe." EXTRA TIP: Reduce or minimize how often you watch and read the news! And DON'T read or watch the news (or articles about COVID-19 or similar) just before bed! 7) Laugh Distracting ourselves from our fears is a valid technique for feeling better! Laughter releases helpful chemicals in our bloodstream - Endorphins (our natural "happy" drug) and Dopamine (part of our bodily "reward" system). • What are your favorite comedy shows? Maybe you would like to share some of your favorites from your childhood with your kids. • Is there a comedian you like? Find some movies that star your favorite and do a movie marathon complete with popcorn, candy and soda! • Netflix and similar have so many watching options, so find something that makes you laugh! IMPORTANT: It's not a great idea to over-use laughter as a distraction technique. And it doesn't work well for ongoing and persistent fears in regular life. But for a situation like this, where there isn't much that any of us can do other than sit and wait - distraction can be a great coping mechanism. 8) Start a Journal! If you've always wanted to journal, now is a good time to start. More than just keeping a record of your day, a journal can help you explore and sift through your feelings and experiences and learn from them. It's a great way to get to know you. It's great to choose a beautiful notebook, but the most important thing is to just get started. Here are some prompts to get started with: • Today I am feeling _________. I think this is because __________. • One big thing I have learned during this crisis is _________. • I remember the last time I was stuck in the house _________. • One thing that's surprised me recently is _________. • What matters most to me in life is _________. • Describe your ideal day _________. If you want some even more introspective journaling ideas, here are 105 of them! "A journal is expressive by nature and it contains feelings, emotions, problems, ponderings and it is more reflective on the meaning of life being lived. " Lynda Monk 9) Be Kind! Kindness and compassion are one of the most powerful tools any of us have in our toolbox right now. Many of us are largely housebound, never mind the fear that you or a loved on might actually catch the COVID virus! So, of course we're going to feel unpleasant and weird. You don't have to be out in public to practice kindness. There are so many ways to be kind if you really think about it. Use kindness to comfort yourself when afraid or feeling anxious or fidgety. Be gentle. Imagine you're soothing a friend, small child or animal who is afraid - what would you say to them? Then say that to yourself! Use kindness to give yourself - and others - the benefit of the doubt. Instead of getting upset when you see other people behaving badly, remember that we all do silly things when we're scared. Imagine you have a kind, wise self. A part of you that is unflappable, intelligent and unconditionally loves ALL of you. Now, when you need it, imagine that kind, wise self is with you, supporting you, maybe giving you a hug - and saying exactly what you need to hear (not just the sugary stuff, but also the tough love and common sense). If you want to go outside of yourself, bake something nice and give it to a neighbor when it's safe to do so. Send someone an email and tell them how much they've meant to you in your life. Be kind to your family - do something for them that you know they will appreciate. 10) Help Others Helping others is empowering and makes us feel better. Here are a few ways you could help others. • Check in on a neighbor or friend and see if they need anything. You can do this by phone, or in person, remembering to maintain a 6 feet distance. • Offer to get someone groceries if you're going. • Help someone less technically savvy learn how to use Zoom or WhatsApp or whatever they need to get online. • Host a virtual get-together with your regular friends. • Reconnect more deeply with friends or relatives who have moved away. BONUS - There's more!! 11) Live Your Values When we know our values, we understand what motivates and drives us. When we build our lives around our values, we create a life that is meaningful. Finally, when we align our actions with our values - we're being truly authentic. It's a very satisfying and fulfilling way to live. And living your values could be the single most important thing any of us can do right now. Here's an exercise you can do: • List your values on a piece of paper or in your journal. • Give each value a score ___ / 10 as to how well you are living that value in your life now (where 0 is not at all and 10 is full-out). • For the scores that are 8 or more - great! • For the scores that are 7 or less out of 10, ask yourself, "How could I express this value more in my life right now?" "What could I do differently or approach differently, so that I feel good about how I live this value in my life?" For example: You have a value of creativity, but you're only managing to 'go through the motions' right now and your score is 4/10. Ask yourself how you could be more creative during this time - whether it's cooking, gardening, art or writing or helping your kids do something creative, or even watching a documentary about someone creative you admire... 12) De-Clutter Everyone I know seems to be doing this - including myself. I bet you have some organizational things on your to-do list (like going through winter clothes, sorting out toys to donate or tidying the laundry closet, garage or shed) that have been on there for a while. Use this isolation period to get them done! Getting organized and de-cluttering allows us to exert some control over our lives - and therefore feel less helpless! Plus it'll feel amazing just to have it done. Organize your closets, your garage, your books, your photos, office, kitchen equipment. Whatever needs organizing. Or perhaps you need to go through your receipts or file your taxes! • If you need some inspiration (and great clothes-folding tips) you could watch the Marie Kondo series on Netflix! A simple 3 Step Method to go through your stuff: 1. If you're keeping it, be sure to DECIDE where it will "live" from now on. 2. If you're not keeping it, create two piles: o Things to DUMP o Things to DONATE (and if relevant to pass on to specific people). 3. When you're done, put each pile into bags or boxes, and then once this crisis is over you can get rid of what you no longer need. TIP: You don't need to do any of this 'in one sitting', do an hour a day - you'll be surprised how much you get done if you keep it up for a week! Or just commit to doing a 2 foot space each day - or whatever space you decide. 13) Grow Something - Or Get an Indoor Flowering Plant! There is nothing quite like growing something - whether it's flowers, fruits or vegetables that makes us feel good! Even if you live in an apartment and you could grow fresh herbs on your windowsill or balcony to cook with! • Get some seeds, (a pot and some soil if needed) and get started. • Many plant nurseries are still open, or you could order seeds etc. online. • Follow the instructions - and remember to water it! If growing something is just too much work, get yourself a spring bulb or succulent (cacti) planter, or you could get an indoor plant like a Spathiphyllum* (Peace Lily) is good for cleaning the air of pollutants (and easy to take care of). If you don't have much space or need something pretty easy, try Earth Boxes. They are AMAZING!! * Be aware that some plants are poisonous to pets - so please check!! 14) Send "Real" Snail Mail Letters or Cards Go old-fashioned. Who doesn't love to receive a lovely card or handwritten letter in the post box! Rediscover the lost art of letter-writing and make someone's day. Yes, you could send an email appreciating someone, and that's great. But imagine your recipient's face as they pick up that hand-written card in the mailbox. Wondering what to say? Write from the heart! Here are some ideas to get started: • I really appreciate having you in my life because ________. • I love hanging out with you when we ________. • I've realized that you bring ________ to my life. And, if you really want to have some fun, go to Pinterest and check out their ideas for home made cards! Just put 'home made cards' in the search bar. 15) Begin to Practice Meditation Meditation is a practice that has been proven scientifically to calm us, help us be more creative and be happier (for starters). It's extremely beneficial. There is a lot to learn about meditation - and it's called Meditation Practice for a reason. But it's also not as hard as it sounds. You can start with as little as 5 minutes a day - and it's good to build a routine, so you meditate at the same time every day. Get a book on "Meditation for Beginners" or go to Youtube or Google and search for "How to Meditate". Another good place to start is "Metta" or "Loving Kindness" meditation. Again, search online and you'll have lots of options to choose from. It helps to have a quiet space without interruptions - which many of us don't have at the moment. And for some people, trying to meditate when anxious can be stressful. If this is the case, listen to a relaxing guided meditation instead. Another idea is to listen to a sleep meditation or "Body Scan Meditation" before going to sleep. Believe you have the skills and power to tackle this situation and you will! Choose to make the best of a difficult situation and no matter what - you'll find a way. This current and strange COVID-19 situation will end. And when it does, you'll be proud you made the effort to learn something - whether it's about yourself, fresh knowledge, a new skill - and who knows what else!