COACHING
Do you feel like you're losing your mind trying to deal with everything?
It's kind of tough juggling work, relationships, kids, bills, schedules, commitments and everything else life throws at you. Sometimes all you want is to just power down. Have a little peace. But you might be having difficulties at work getting along with co-workers or getting your projects done, or maybe you're fighting with your husbands/wives/significant others or extended families, the kids argue, fight, disobey, and the list goes on! I don't know about you, but when things get like that, I just want to crawl in a hole. But, unfortunately, that isn't an option. So, how do you sort it out? Where do you start?
Coaching assists you in fitting all the pieces of the puzzle together.
"How do you eat an elephant?" The answer is "a bite at a time." A really good coach sits with you while you eat that elephant. I don't tell you "how" to eat the elephant, but I do shine a light on where each piece might be so that you can take care of it in your own way. I give you a great big bag of tools to use when you find a piece that needs to be eaten in a different way. The bag is always growing, and the tools can be amazing when they're used correctly. I even show you HOW to use the tools. And, I have a BUNCH of tools!!
So, what's the catch?
The "catch" is that you must do the work. You might even feel a little bit of pain - think growing pains. Coaching is about taking ACTION. I'm not going to try to change your mind or your thoughts. I'm NOT a therapist. What I will do is encourage you to make different choices in your behavior so that you have different results. You grow when you learn new things. You become a better person when you start using the right tool for the right job. Together, we work on the "stuff" that's making your life uncomfortable. If you're looking for an easy fix or for me to just wave my magic want to make things disappear, I'm not your coach. That, and I broke my wand trying to use it on my own children!
The answer is OUTSIDE the box!
I have a lot of different tools to teach my clients. I am a Certified Professional Life Coach, Certified NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) Coach and Practitioner, Certified Social and Emotional Intelligence Coach, Certified Leader as Coach Practitioner, Coach and Trainer, Certified Enneagram Coach, Certified Family Coach, Certified Relationship Coach, Certified Business Coach and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Practitioner. My coach calls these "the alphabet soup beside my name", but the great thing is that they can all tie together. What this unique combination of certifications does for you is that I can coach you in the way that will fit your issue so that we can do the work much more quickly and you feel better, faster. 

Is coaching expensive?

It all depends on what you call 'expensive'. The way I see it is, how expensive is it to keep going on the way you are? If you're losing income, ruining relationships, have kids that are out of control, and if you're just plain unhappy with your life, what would it be worth to have what you want? Read the reviews that were written by some of the people I've worked with. I have a 100% happiness guarantee... if you get to the end of your first session and you don't feel that you gained anything from our time together, you owe me nothing, and we go our separate ways. No hard feelings.   

So, what's the next step?

The next step is for you to connect. Sign up for the newsletter. If you're ready for coaching, contact me by email, genesishypno@gmail.com. If you're not sure, contact me by email anyway, and we'll see if coaching is right for you.  

If you're a business and you're interested in Social and Emotional Intelligence Training/testing, or Leader as Coach training, contact me, and I'll call you back to discuss your needs.

I also teach classes in the North Gwinnett area of Georgia on a periodic basis. These classes are generally parenting classes (difficult teens), family classes and relationship classes. Keep looking and I will probably have a Leader as Coach class for the general public and a Social and Emotional Intelligence class for the general public as well. If you would like to be notified of any of these classes, email me and I'll make sure you're notified.

Do You Want Something Different in Your Life?

If we keep doing the same thing the same way, we'll keep getting the same results. Are you tired of repeating the same behavior in the same circumstances, yet don't understand why stuck on that hamster wheel?  

If you really want what you say you want, you need a coach! 

A problem can never be solved from the same mentality that created it. A coach can look at things from a different angle and assist you in getting to a place where you see it too. That's where you'll be able to make different choices in your life and have the results you want. And, it can be quick and easy, depending on the circumstances. Coaching is ACTION oriented and focuses on the future. You can't un-do the past, but you can change where you go from where you are.  

This is where I tell you that I'm not a therapist (again). I do not dig through your life and try to figure out why you did what you did (even though you might figure it out), nor do I work with any mental illness. If you have a psychological issue, I will refer you to a talented professional who can help you through it.

You already have the resources you need to get what you want. A good coach is skilled in working with you on your behaviors, beliefs and attitudes so that you can achieve a positive outcome.

What is Coaching?

Can you imagine what the results would be for your favorite sports team if they didn't have a coach? You see, the Quarter Back is the one with the talent, but the coach knows how to motivate and bring it out of him. The coach also knows how to get the other players to work with him in a way so that they have a winning team. Without the coaching team, it would be mass chaos ... and they probably wouldn't win a single game. Imagine having someone well trained to meet with you on a weekly basis (either by email, phone or in person) to talk about an aspect of your life so that you can make it the way you want it. That’s exactly what a coach does... and that’s what I do! Think about your life or the issue you're trying to work through as a ball game, and you need to have the moves to win the game. That's coaching.

Coaches honor the client (you!) as the expert in their life and work from the belief that you are creative, resourceful and whole. Coaching is forward moving and future focused in that we don't attempt to repair the past as a therapist might - the best part of your life can be in the future. You can expect to:   

· Discover, clarify and align with what you want to achieve - what this means is that if you don't know what you want, we'll figure that out together.
· Encourage your self-discovery - I'm not going to give you the answers, but I'll work with you in a way so that you will find them. 
· When you find what it is you want, you will work on strategies to get it
· And of course, I'll hold you responsible and accountable

Click here to read what CBS News had to say about the myths of Professional Coaching.
All information that is provided in a coaching session is intended as general information and is not to be misconstrued as medical or psychological advice, or as a diagnosis, treatment or cure for any condition or ailment. If you have any questions or concerns about any mental health issues, please speak with your mental health professional.

What is a Family Coach? 

I really wish that we'd had a family coach when my kids were growing up. We sure could have used one. Because hindsight is 20/20, I know exactly where we went wrong and boy, were we out there! If we would have had a good family coach, he/she would have had quite a talk with my husband and me. There were so many things that we were doing (and not doing) that led to a lot of dysfunction in our home. 

Very few "family coaches" are adequately trained

There are very few family coaches that are genuinely trained in family systems.  It takes a lot more than just hanging your shingle out and calling yourself a Family Coach.  Many coaches will just "side" with the parents and try to get the kids to comply.  That's not what it's all about.  The training I received was a graduate level training by a company that specialized in coaching families and troubled teens.  If your coach doesn't have a genuine training certification from a school that specializes in this area, you may not be getting the level of assistance that you need for a whole and healthy family.

A kid that "acts out" is the symptom of what's really going on in the home.

Unfortunately, there are so many influences on the American family right now, and we've pretty much lost any functionality that we might have had even 20 years ago.  The amount of technology that our kids use is mind-boggling.  Then when you add on the television, games, test pressures, sports pressures and more, they're a walking bottle of Coke with a Mento thrown in!!  I won't even mention the cell phone.

What can a Coach do for the family?

The first thing I do with families (and office teams and individuals for that matter) is to define our values.  Values are consciously chosen guiding principles for every area of our lives to be lived at all times.  Values are non-negotiable!!  Picture a flashlight.  Our values are like a flashlight - they guide us through all the stuff that goes on so that we'll know how to handle it.  We must sort through whether it's our "parent stuff" or our "values" that are being stepped on when we're making decisions on discipline and consequences. 

What VALUES look like in the home

I remember when my daughter had moved back in and informed me that since she was 20, that she should be able to come in at any time she pleased.  Well, my first reaction was to tell her "my home, my rules".  But, because we've grown beyond that, I chose to use the values instead.  So, I ran through my list... Immoral?  No.  Unethical?  No.  Illegal?  No.  Then I ran through the values (our family values are Respect, Honesty and Integrity) ... Respectful? No.  There it was.  It wasn't respectful because coming in at any hour meant that we would be woken by barking dogs when someone was coming in the door at 2:00 a.m.  What was really going on was that my "mom stuff" was kicking in.  No one wants their kid out at 2 in the morning when nothing good is happening. 


A couple days later, my daughter came back and brought up the subject again.  She said she had it all figured out.  Her solution was to move into the basement.  That way, the dogs wouldn't hear her coming in the door.  I ran through my list again - and unfortunately (for me), it weighed in her favor.  It wasn't against any family values.  And I choose not to impose my "mom stuff" on her.  So, she moved into the basement.  Without any heat.  In the middle of winter.  But she made it work.  I wasn't going to bend on the values - remember that they're non-negotiable.  They're made of steel.  Even though she would be cold, it was her choice.  She had the choice to live where it was heated as long as she wanted to live within the values.  But she stayed within the values to have what she wanted.  That was a WIN for her!! 

The next thing you learn is how to set BOUNDARIES

While values are pretty straight forward, boundaries are a little more confusing sometimes.  If I drive down my street, the city has drawn the boundaries for me by covering them in black pavement.  Now, I "could" drive down the sidewalk, but the city drew the boundaries with the pavement and by putting a sidewalk in with a pretty steep curb.  Yes, I could hop the curb, but it's going to be uncomfortable, and I may pop a tire.  That's what I get for trying to cross the boundaries.  Boundaries keep us safe, and on the right path.  Aren't you thankful that there are concrete barricades on the freeway between the opposite directions of traffic? 

So... what if those were made of rubber bands?

Even though there's a "boundary" drawn, it's only held by a loose, stretchy substance that only has a so-so chance of holding the oncoming vehicle back... but it's still going to come through on your side.  When parents hold what I call "rubber band boundaries", the kids aren't very clear as to how far they can go before they cross the line.  How much disrespect?  How big of a lie?  How much past curfew?  Disrespect is disrespect, a lie is a lie and late is late.  PARENTS are the ones that have to hold those boundaries.  That is what creates a safe space for the family to live and grow ... and it's what creates trust.

... and last but not least, the RULES

Rules are individual to the family.  Your family can figure out the rules depending on the personality and beliefs in your home.  Some parents have a curfew of 8:00 p.m. for teens, and some have a curfew of 10:00.  The rules are up to you and sometimes the kids are able to make requests regarding the rules.  They are NOT non-negotiable.  There may (and will) be circumstances where the rules have to be bent or broken depending on the situation.  Say 8:00 is the rule for curfew, but the football game won't be over until 8:30, making 9:00 the time your teen would get home.  This is where, if you choose, you can bend the rule with a prior agreement.   Agreements, communication, circumstances, etc., are all things that must be discussed to have a happy and healthy environment. 

So, those are the big things... Values, Boundaries and Rules

Here are some truths about families that are elements of getting a solid system in place:
  • Families are a unique collection of past experiences, personalities and ages
  • Families are whole and complete - operational awareness is the key
  • There is no such thing as failure - only feedback
  • Having a choice is better than having no choice
  • The meaning of your communication is the response you get
  • The element with the least engagement in the family will be the controlling element
  • People always make the best choice available to them at the time
  • For every negative action, there is a positive intent
  • Every behavior is useful in some context
  • Families already have all the resources they need
  • Every family operates as a single unit even though each member is different
And of course, communication, accountability, clarity, victim mentality, emotions, choices, responsibility, creativity, barriers, outcomes, attitudes, friends, goals, dreams and so much more are part of the process. 

Anything and everything is possible!! 

Relationship Coaching

Not every relationship is healthy... 

Even for those who do, seemingly, have good relationships - the road can be a little rocky.

01

Does it feel like you're always attracting the 'bad guys' or the 'bad girls' into your life? 

If you've ever wondered why, then the place to look is inside. Many times, people find that there's something going on with their beliefs about themselves that attract them to these relationships

02

The greatest relationship you can have is with YOURSELF.  

When you are personally lacking or are deficient in any (or all) of the three components of a solid relationship, you will have a stressful time in any relationship in which you are involved. Many people that I have spoken with not only have a strained relationship with their significant other, but they have the same stressors with their family and work relationships as well. 

03

Focusing on how we "BE" in relationships and consistently internalizing building points of the three components of relationships is a large part of what a coaching relationship will focus on. 

Imagine...    

· Understanding the interconnections among all relationships in your life
· Identifying the areas of priority for you         
· Having a readiness to go out and explore world views and the means to create meaningful connection with others      
· Having a clear idea and alignment for taking action on the principles you are learning  

04

What if your results included ...?  

· Understanding where the other person is 'coming from'?      
· Understanding of the cycles of relationships - and then how to get them back to where you want them?      
· Finding your 'authentic self'?      
· Discovering your self-limiting and self-enhancing beliefs?      
· Having tools to get things accomplished in all areas of your life?      
· Identifying your personal values?  
· Living each day being in integrity with your personal values?      
· Knowing how to build your self-esteem again?      
· ...and way, way more!      

This is only a small part of what we accomplish in relationship coaching! 
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